Hello fellow Pagans! With Valentine’s Day approaching, I want to discuss love spells and introduce my guidelines to writing your own working.
Love spells can be powerful, and they can also backfire is unexpected ways. You have to design them with very clear and moral intent. At no point should you take power or free will away from the subject of your spell. This means you may not make decisions for them or force them to love you (or anyone else). You may not cause them to see you dishonestly. These are some of the trickiest workings to design because you must be precise, articulate, and above all, ethical!
(Note: Black magic love spells exist, and it is up to the individual witch to choose their own path. This article does not cover those workings, which are risky and not to be used lightly.)
So what can you do? You can design a spell that opens their heart to possibilities, and that let’s them see you in a fresh and clear light. You can also do a complimentary spell to help present yourself with your best, but still honest, foot forward.
If you do not have a specific person in mind, you can focus the spell on drawing in kindred spirits, while encouraging yourself to step out of your comfort zone to be most visible. Again, the gods have a sense of humor, so be precise in what you are looking for or you may have unexpected results.
My tips to you on writing a working is to be mindful of your intentions, considerate in your approach towards the other person/potentials, and vigilant against laziness on your part. The better engineered a spell is for your goals, the better the results.
All spells require some real-life complimentary action. If you find a spell that doesn’t, I’d be wary, or you can use it as a framework to design your own. Some real-life actions for love spells could be: increasing how many people you ask out; attending singles events; talking more to the object of your affection; and self care. Spells are enhancments to the mundane world. They will not do the heavy lifting for you. You must do all the things necessary, from putting yourself out there to taking care of yourself so that you can present your best and truest self.
You may want to fit in your patron diety/energy. I would research their connections to love and socializing, as well as self care. Hone in on it, as it may not be obvious. For example, your diety may not be directly related to love, but it a real kicker for honest communication and community. Or perhaps they are all about courage. You can take that and weave it in in the appropriate part. Some love dieties may sound like an obvious choice, like Aphrodite, but be aware of her stories and how this goddess of beauty approaches love and whether that fits with your goals.
If you have multiple dieties you wish to work with, that is up to you to design appropriately. Some people never “mix pantheons,” or in otherwords mix dieties from different cultures, and you should be aware of the relationship between the respective dieties (this may not be direct) as well as their status levels. Some dieties don’t care, others want their due.
When it comes to designing a working, I am a very practical witch and rarely indulge in rhyme or grand, dramatic bits, but You Do You! Do what feels right for you. Sometimes a rhyming scheme makes the whole thing feel stronger, or an eloquent call to the gods sets the right headspace.
There are no rules beyond what you choose to accept.
This is a general guideline I have written for designing a working or spell:
- Meditation, in which intents and goals are analyzed carefully with a mind towards ethics and karma
- Divination, in which you seek outside advice on the situation
Research, in which you assess dieties/energies you wish to work with, whether sacred space or casting a circle is necessary, and other intellectual work; also, if you have a specific person in mind, learning about them and whether they have a patron diety
- Voice, in which you closely tie the words of your spell to those intentions and goals, being mindful of loopholes and vagueness
- Earthly Work, in which you guard against laziness and do the mundane tasks necessary to reach those goals, including but not limited to self care, socializing, nourishing connections, putting yourself “out there,” and any other practices you have set for yourself
- Offerings, in which you pay appropriate homage to your chosen dieties
Question Everything, in which you pause regularly to readjust the spells, check for ethical violations, and reassess your needs
- Intuition, in which you perform your working as you see fit, for what feels correct and natural to you
- Pay Attention to Results, in which you take notice of any synchronicities or changes, both within yourself as well as without, and alter your working accordingly
- Give Thanks, in which you give credit to the dieties or energies you worked with for results
I have compiled a list of some common tools and methods used in love spells, which you are free to utilize as you wish.
- Planting seeds as a way of planting yourself in the mind of someone, nourishing those connections by growing the plant
- Creating a charm or talisman to wear to increase magnetism and social courage
- Creating a talisman to attract a specific kind of person, utlizing items like a sugar crystal for sweetness, diopside for practical intelligence, and an emerald for communication.
- Candle magic: a flame for passion, physical and intellectual
- Doing a cleansing to release old connections no longer serving you
- Rose quartz beads to attract love, and black crystals such as onyx or tourmaline to repel negativity
- Choosing a scent that gives you mental clarity, such as cinnamon, mint, lemon, or rosemary, and meditating regularly with it to help you see clearly the effects of your spell as well as reassess goal.
Best of luck!